Saturday, May 29, 2010

Behold, the man.

is Brandon.

is Brandon sleeping.

since three pm this afternoon. poor soul.

As I lay in bed thinking about how incredibly lucky I am to have this person in my life- and thanking Heavenly Father rigorously for blessing our house and for keeping Brandon safe this whole journey a scripture came to mind

about seeming dead for three days... and the wife that said he doth not stinketh to me!

He is getting over a cold, and jet lag, and the excitement for today.

I have to admit, I went into our guest room and cried for an hour because I am so relieved.

Boy, all that worrying sure paid off.
psyche. all that PRAYING paid off.

The Lord really knows each of us, I am amazed at the fact that even though we have both been through so much apart that we can come together and fit again and recognize the joy in our choice to be sealed for all of forever. To see that our hearts still have the same elementary foundations is the most tender thing.

I got some really amazing photographs (thank you kirby for lending the camera (what an amazing camera...) and thank you kirst for taking the pictures) and I will have to post those soon. for now I am content to say that there is a trail of boots and socks and gear strewn all about the house and my husband in our bed.

Gotta grab the tissues again.
and HOPE
and every sincerity a person can afford,

ps here is more pictures of the day...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

brandon is now in california at camp pendleton- he is currently cellphoneless but it is on so if you want to lea ve him a message or text he'd love that i'm sure. (maybe...) he should be there for two more days and then be home on saturday! right now we aren't sure if they will get everything done that they must in caliofrnia in that short of a time slot. last i spoke with him he was waiting in line to see a medical dentist and then off to get tested for HIV. which is standard for all of the men. they returned all their guns and gear last night and brandon tried to wash his camis (camouflage) but all the dryers were being used or broken, so he's been wet all day. they arrived around 1 or 2 pm california time and he has not gone to bed since.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

today i will be content if brandon is on US soil.

at the other side of the counter
i will be very antsy to see him.

sit opposite from
each other

Sunday, May 23, 2010

time time time, see what's become of us

"The world will continue to turn, lives go on,
the clock keeps ticking.. And deployments? THEY END! And for us, the
moment they step off that bus, and hold us in their arms.. Time will lay
down and be still.. An eternity will pass in those first few moments of
bliss.."-brianna j

this week is going to be the hardest week of them all.
my mom says most car accidents happen in the last ten miles of home.

i cannot even describe the torrent of emotions that run through me, one moment i am ecstatic and the next i am deeply depressed.

many people want to know why and someday when i get it figured out i'll tell you.

i just have to be grateful and humble and happy,
so that i dont ruin the moment we've been waiting for for almost a year.

im going to sleep in like a crazy woman, and then do a few things to keep myself busy tomorrow.

im going to do that for four or five days.

a general update for those who care
brandon and charlie company have left afghanistan and are in kygerkistan (?) on an air force base until tonight when they leave for home

they will stop in probably two more places one in germany and another in london to fill and hopefully only refuel.

brandon sent out an email asking that everyone respect his wishes to be left alone for a while.
for some people this means waiting until he seeks you out,
and for me it means not going to california with most of the other marine wives.
even though i have family there and i would give anything to be away from my empty house for one more week alone.

it means respecting him now, and loving him as he IS and can be again, not as he was or how we idolize him to be.

and more than anything
trusting the lord will put things in their proper place.
with time.

lord help me and those that love him that must wait for him.

as a note to other people and friends who have asked about him or want to see him when he gets home.
please wait until he seeks you out. we were married three rocky months before he left me for a year.
we'd appreciate the time to be a family unit again, and learn how to get back up from this experience together before we have dinner with you and chit chat about normal things.

it doesn't mean we don't love you
but try to imagine what it is like to have your wife or your husband away from you for that long and being back together again.

Friday, May 21, 2010

" Civilians balk at recognizing that one of the most traumatic
things about combat is having to give it up. War is so obviously evil
and wrong that the idea there could be anything good to it almost
feels like profanity. And yet throughout history, men have come home
to find themselves desperately missing what should have been the
worst experience of their lives. To a combat Vet, the civilian world
can seem frivolous and dull, with very little at stake and all the
wrong people in power. These men come home and quickly find
themselves getting berated by a rear -based major who's never seen
combat or arguing with their girlfriend about some domestic issue
they don't even understand. When men say they miss combat, it's not
that they actually miss getting shot at---you'd have to be deranged---
it's that they miss being in a world where everything is important
and nothing is taken for granted. They miss being in a world where
human relations are entirely governed by whether you can trust the
other person with your life.
It's such a pure, clean standard and men can completely remake
themselves in war. You could be anything back home--shy, ugly, rich,
poor, unpopular---and it won't matter because it's of no consequence
in a firefight, and therefore of no consequence, period. The only
thing that matters is your level of dedication to the rest of the
group, and that is almost impossible to fake. That is why the men say
such impossibly vulgar things about each other's sisters and mothers.
Its one more way to prove nothing can break the bond between them;
it's one more way to prove they're not alone out there.
War is a big and sprawling word that brings a lot of human suffering
into the conversation, but combat is a different matter. Combat is
the smaller game that young men fall in love with, and any solution
to the human problem of war will have to take into account the
psyches of these young men. For some reason there is a profound and
mysterious gratification to the reciprocal agreement to protect
another person with your life, and combat is virtually the only
situation in which that happens regularly. These hillsides of loose
shale and holly trees are where the men feel not most alive----that
you can get skydiving---but the most utilized. The most necessary.
The most clear and certain and purposeful. If young men could get
that feeling at home, no one would ever want to go to war again, but
they can't. So here sits Sergeant O'Byrne, one month before the end
of deployment, seriously contemplating signing back up.
" I prayed only once in Afghanistan," O'Byrne wrote me after it was
all over. " It was when Restrepo got shot, and I prayed to God to let
him live. But God, Allah, Jehovah, Zeus or whatever a person may call
God wasn't in that valley. Combat is a devil's game. God wanted no
part. That's why our prayers weren't answered: the only one listening
was Satan."

-Sebastian Junger

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"the sweet far thing"-yeats

well folks, he's not so far away- charlie company flew to camp leatherneck from their station fob Payne on monday (im not sure what the fob is for...i thought it was COP). brandon declares he will never eat another imitation pork rib patty ever again. i asked him to describe the shape of it and he said it is rectangular with three lumps that are supposed to be ribs but there are no ribs in these babies.

we are both very anxious and very happy that this is coming to a close and excited for the next chapter of our lives TOGETHER.

i am going to be journeying up to rexburg this next weekend to see housing and take pictures and grab documents etc. i hope there is still room for us! i hear married housing fills up quite quickly there so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to tell me!

i want brandon to be a part of this decision though so i can't really "secure" a place until he nods yes.

i know i'll like the place more if he likes it too. :]

they should be in the states in about ten days!

it's at the end time like this where i cannot help but turn my mind to the families who lost their sons this deployment. it will be a bitter bitter sweet reunion for those who are still coming to the welcome home.

i truly admire them and their strength to hope, and press on with smiles on their faces and courage in their hearts no matter how sad they feel.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Highway Patrol vs. USMC.

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it turned off and could not be turned on.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.

The reply came back in true USMC style: Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the full! y armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern. Semper Fi.

in other news brandon called me four times today. i missed every single call.

i screamed really loudly.

he's going on patrol for a week or so.

"may the fourth be with him"

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