That's no excuse

First off, I want to apologize deeply to anyone who may have (or may not have) heard that I said something to hurt them in any way.

Secondly in my small small small defense, I need you to know a little bit about me.

I am terrified of groups, and people in general.

I want you to like me so badly, that I've even been diagnosed with social anxiety and medicated on and off in my life for it.

When I was in preschool, I would come home crying and tell my mom that I had no friends.

Even if I did have people who liked me or occasionally played with me.


Sometimes, and some days I say things I don't mean, things that are too mean,
things that don't make sense
and things that are probably really hurtful.

I am not a perfect person, and I don't expect others to be.

Again I am very sorry if I ever said or did something that was contradictory to how I really felt or how things really are.

I have a hard time expressing myself, and sometimes when it comes out, it comes out wrong, or distorted by my own insecurities.

Just know please, that I am trying very hard for you to like me, and to know you better, and in that endeavor I say too much about me, or too much about you, or too much about too much. And I'm sorry. I truly am.

Also know that I am trying to be better and more sensitive to the plain fact that most people just want to be loved as they are and not changed into someone I can love more easily.

I do want to know you, I want to make you laugh and smile and feel happy when you are sad and happy just in general.
I like people a lot.

I like you.
I do.

But give me a chance.