Ego me bene habeo

With me, All is well.
I also like that the word bene reminds me of bean.

Brandon called today. What a relief. On tuesday night (weds. morning?) at 2:30 AM I received a text from him that sounded sad. We both tried calling but he didn't have reception. All week I've beeen praying that he is alright and that we could talk to each other before I pull all my hair out, quilt my entire house, buy every brand of jeans at nordies that fits my fat married bottom, fake exercise( picture me with my computer on my lap trying to do situps), tan for ten minutes, swim for nine, use every stamp in the house writing letters, and poking my mother endlessly reminding her that I want my husband back.

And as suddenly as all restlessness comes, it is gone


"I want bean one too [talking about the bean tamborines I made for the nursery's music time, my new calling that I love more than my own life]"
"That night I texted you, I prayed and said God pelase let me send one message I miss my wife so much, and he let me."

I miss you so much brandon.
The bed is too big without you
I sleep like a starfish.

Without water.

Okay I won't get too much into analogies because I only do that when I am really stressed out or super tired [this moi].

But if you are reading this
I want to tell you that God hears us- and it is as impossible to comprehend as you reading my insignificant blog about my husband whom I love and miss.
God knows us,
and when we ask for things with all of our hearts
he hears.

which is hearts without the t.
which is hard without the e.
and the t.

As long as we have him in our lives
we have each other.



It's really hard.
But that one phone call,
sets everything right again
and my love for you just spills and spills over. all over this poor blogarooskie.

Goodnight Mr. Cochran