Tuesday, November 17, 2009

i've got it bad, and that ain't good

It feels incredible to be able to breath out of my knows again.
Almost as good as the thoughts I have of you right when I wake up and before I sleep at night.
Sometimes I catch myself waiting for your step in the hallway, for you to jump on the bed and tickle me until I can't think in one direction.
I have to do what you told me to,
I put you in a box.
But don't worry because I put air holes in the top.
I have to remind myself not to take you down and look at you all the time.
But it's hard to do since I bent the rules by putting pictures of us all over our house.
Can I call it our house?
Even if you aren't here.
It is hard to think of home without you.
So I am sort of homeless.
In this 900 sq foot yellow cottage with the green door
this week everything went wrong.
I'm just about fit to be tied, and then I get on my knees and God reminds me of all the good there is.
But for right now, when you are away fighting your battle,
I am at home fighting mine.
The orem police department woke me up yesterday at one in the morning to tell me my garage door kept opening and closing
so it looks like not just the squash room is haunted.
I've been so sick I don't know when I will get a chance to repair it.
Going outside means exposing myself to that cold cold mountain air.
Although I am certain after I've had EVERY seasonal sickness that ever existed
I will be invincible.
Like you.
The internet stopped working unless I sit in THIS exact spot, and never move.
I've gone through almost five boxes of lotioned tissue
until my nose began to bleed terribly last night.
Since then I have reason to believe that the cold has moved on
to my lungs.
Hot water and salt and hot water and tea and soop and I'm trying to eat salad but it sounds so. green to me.
I missed my first work meeting last night, I sounded like a 80 year old woman (or man) who has been smoking all his or her life.

The brand new washer and dryer came yesterday
and after the first load the dryer stopped working.

I don't know what to do.

The oven has a gas leak,
the disposal doesn't work.
There is a four inch gap of cold air coming in under the back door.

Brandon, how do I do it without you?


Post a Comment


Blog Template by YummyLolly.com