Saturday, December 26, 2009


Remember that time we got married forever? Remember what came before that? All of that? Well, this morning I laid in the little yellow room where we took our first nap together- and tried very hard to recall it all. This is our story and I want to right it down before it's left behind.

We met three years ago. I was new to BYU Idaho, and you had just returned from your mission in Ghana Africa, the Ivory Coast. I was dating a boy long distance from Berkley, he was everything I thought I ever wanted, and would ever need. He was intelligent, deep, poetic, more than anything he let me be whoever I thought I was. I was in Rexburg Idaho, it was cold, I was lonely, my roommates thought I was crazy. My relationship was on the rocks, I was doing everything I could to hold things together, but in the end Patrick and I didn't want the same things out of life. I'd been watching Brandon for months. To me, he embodied the typical, beautiful golden boy. He had a testimony, charisma, and dates in every dorm (even in the guys... honestly). Every girl in my ward was gaga over him and I remember calling my mom one sunday and saying in reply to her probing about dates or possible boys I liked there " he's gorgeous, he's all brawn and no brain, and what's worse- is everyone likes him- I could never date a guy like that." I remember thinking how clever and smart I was to avoid what seemed to be constant heartbreak- sweeping chapman hall. HAH! Love, who needed something like that when I had a brooding, atheist with childhood repressions who appreciated my nonsense?

He tells the story differently, he says that I was just different- (like his story) and I caught his eye. He says he needed to know me. But I get itchy all over just thinking about how many times I would just stare at him, oblivious to my existence.

I was sitting in the cafeteria, he said. I was sitting in the cafeteria when I saw you come in. I asked the guy next to me who you were and if he knew anything about you. I remember thinking that in my mind I said a prayer "God, if you get her to come over here I will ask her out".

Oh please.

I make fun of him now, but maybe he was telling the truth.

Anyway, in my memory I walked past his table and heard him speaking french. I stopped and tried to start a conversation with him. I'd taken almost six years of french from middle school skipping highschool and was currently enrolled in a full time french course in college. I could handle this. He jumped up and started babbling and
I still have no idea
to this day
and he doesn't either
as to what he said.

I excused myself and went dejectedly over to the ice cream machine.

In his head
he asked me to sit down and I told him no way.

It took three years, and much more than I can write
for our lives to cross paths again.

It began online, we would chat and ask each other noncommittal, noninterested, easy answer questions that typify any conversation.

How are you? What have you been up to? Why do I still think about how I'll never date someone like you? Why do you have deep quotes and like to read? You're supposed to be shallow.

Just kidding.

And then he emailed me.

"Want to go on a date?"

Brandon Cochran April 8 at 8:25pm
Dear Jacqueline,

I surmise finals went well.

I'm going to be in Rexburg around 11 Friday morning. I need to meet with an old professor sometime Friday or Saturday concerning a writing project I'm working on, but wanted to know what time you'd be available for floralfittiering this weekend.


Jacqueline Cochran April 9 at 8:02am
Dear good knight sir,

Finals went wonderfully with the exception that I got a phone call yesterday about my gram being awfully sick. She is coming in to town today to start chemotherapy and I'll be with her.

I have a paper due tonight but as far as classes go those are over. phewe. Friday early morning Imagonnabe moving into my new apartment and then I work from 9 till 5 at the flower shoppe. Saturday I work again from 10 until 12 so anytime after then- or friday knight or whenever you can sqeeeeeeueueuueeeze me in.

I'm glad you are coming. :]



(just kidding.)
Brandon Cochran April 9 at 10:34pm
TO: Jacqueline

I am very sorry to hear about your grandmother. I will muster all my faith seeds in her behalf.

My mind told my heart to tell me to tell you that we should have dinner friday night and then play on saturday but that I should ask you first.

FROM: Brandon & the bear in the bathroom
Jacqueline Cochran April 10 at 7:49am
TWO: Brandon/bear. (they could be one.)

I'll check with my secretary,
but it sounds good to me.
(it seemeth delicious to me)

Frumb: Ja
with these, and so many more

good things come to those who wait (2)

Do not take the darkness of the night,

because distant is the dawn.

Do not forget the sweetness of summer,

because winter isn't gone.

Do not fear your love

to state.

For better things come,

to those who wait.

On our first date, Brandon drove up to Idaho, rented a hotel room and drove to my townhouse. I was in the middle of moving out to another townhouse down the road and I had just gotten off work. I was nervous, excited, and terrified that this person would be 1. nothing like his emails, or his words. or WORSE 2. everything I imagined he would be. and everything I already knew I wanted.

He showed up and I showed him my new apartment, where my new roommate screamed at us for having a boy upstairs...
it was a good start. I was shaking the whole time, and he just acted like he was fine. He asked me if I was hungry and I told him no so he pushed me into his car and began driving to Idaho Falls. I know now that he was probably STARVING from driving all the way up here to take me to dinner. And the only reason I wasn't hungry is because I'd been eating my feelings all before he arrived.

On the half an hour drive we talked nonstop. When we got to where we were apparently going- I was confused but interested. Brandon opened my door and pulled me into Smitty's pancake house.

We sat down and ordered some juice. He looked over at me and said "I hope you're hungry" and when the waitress came he asked her "what is the highest stack of pancakes someone has ever ordered" I glanced at her in fear, and then did another mental check on how not hungry I was. She kinda looked between us like is this a joke? And he ended up asking her to bring us 25 pancakes.

She brought them on a platter with a tub of syrup and a bowl of butter, and he grabbed one and I grabbed the other and we began stacking.
Our stack was two and half feet off the table when we began eating it.

He just kept eating and eating
and I ate until I was sick (literally) and had to go to the bathroom.

We talked until they closed and then left to walk about the falls.
Brandon surprised me with his talk, his congenial mannerisms and his overall goofyness. He began the date with calling me sister francis the entire time, asked if i would give an opening prayer and then proceeded to carve my name into a tree.

After that we threw rocks at ducks, and he chased me around with his butt sticking out pretending he was a bumble bee.

It was love people.

Passing the temple, an older man was closing the gates and brandon popped down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

This was our first date.

I told him no way and took off running.

This guy is crazy
I thought.

The old man at the gate was bent over laughing and brandon chased after me to make sure I knew he was kidding.

It was a good good date.

On the way home we passed fields of cows and Brandon pontificated on why man had chosen the horse as a ride when he could have chosen the cow. A noble beast.

I just laughed until I cried.

The next day he picked me up and we went to find some cows to ride.

Weird things always happened on our dates,
double rainbow arches,
albino bunny rabbit and a black bunny rabbit,
brandon spilling a myriad of assorted beverages all over himself on each date.

1. singing into a soy sauce bottle
2. pouring water all over his lap


He would rise at 2 or 3 in the morning and drive up, and wake me up with a daisy in his fist,
or flowers in my face.

Or bacon in my nose.

Brandon began to be, everything I ever wanted. All the things I missed.
He filled the very deepest part of me. And I like to think that I do that for him too.

Brandon drove those 4 almost 5 hours, every week- until he made the decision to leave school, and come move up to idaho to be near me while I finished school.

To be continued...


All things obsessive said...

Jacqueline! This is the cutest story. It sounds like a movie, or a perfect book, or exactly what I wish my life was like. Sigh.

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