Sunday, December 27, 2009

Too many potatoes

"Dec 6, 1993, Dear Mr. & Mrs. Cochran, Just a note to update you on Brandon's behavior. Today, he told a girl she had eaten too many potatoes. She is over weight and his comment hurt her feelings. When I confronted him about his comments, he said that he was just giving her some valuable feedback and that he would be happy to jog with her at lunch. His apology did sound sincere. He is very good natured and takes these small repromands in stride. Sincerely, Mrs. Clawson..."

Brandon's mom sent me this today and I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard. I'm glad I can laugh about it now because four months ago after we first got married brandon mentioned that I was gaining weight. (We found out later that I was pregnant when we lost the baby) But at the time his comment really really hurt my feelings.
When I brought it up in a disagreement later he had no idea that it had hurt me at all.

Really people. REALLY.

He had the most sincere, complete intention of this meaning-

I want you to feel good about yourself- I want you to go to physical therapy and fix this knee problem so that you can hold our children and not be afraid of falling, I want you to want to FEEL healthy and happy.

He really meant that but it came out like this:

" I think you should come exercise with me"

As you can imagine I just about ripped my prince charming's head off.

But now I just think it's hilarious.

here's the rest of the letter the teacher sent home

P.S. We just had another incident. The DARE officer just arrived to take a picture of our class. We were chosen for special recognition with the City Council. Brandon hit the officer in the chest with a rubberband. Brandon told the officer he was aiming for a girl in the class, but she jumped behind the officer at the last minute. The officer was very upset and will not be taking our classes' picture. I will not be putting Brandon's name on the ICCM club list (I Can Control Myself)[WHAT HAHAHAHAHA] even though he has earned a startling $20 Clawson Bucks since the last incident."

[now everyone will know who the real brandon is] [honestly my family thinks they died and went to heaven when he is around, and that he NEVER misbehaves, NEVER belches or jokes about gas with me, NEVER hands me HUGE AMOUNTS OF horrifying hygiene products in walmart- declaring loudly to everyone around us that we better "stock up", and NEVER NEVER laughs insanely loud like a mental retard in public places to embarrass me.]


KirstieBirstie said...

hahah this is Gold.

Brandon and AJ said...

See, THIS is the Brandon that I know. I just saw that you have a blog about you and Brandon -- I'm his old next-door neighbor, Brandon Hanson. My family still lives behind his parents. I came to your reception at the Leavitt's home. I do not believe that I have ever met the eloquent, romantic Brandon that writes you letters. I know the Brandon that blamed a fart on me, got everyone to lay on the ground (to get away from the smell of the fart) then yelled, "It's a cold fart! GET UP!" to which everyone stood up to get away from the smell. THAT is the Brandon that I know. :)

France is said...

brandon, brandon has told me about you- he never mentions his stories. I'm so glad you told me. I laughed really hard and thats the brandon I know truly in my fart- i mean my heart. the one who honestly rips one so bad that i tell him he needs to check his pants. etc. is it gross that i love him more for that part? oh well. i guess we married the right other person. its strange the longer brandon is beaten down by the marine corps, the more poetic he becomes. maybe he is being desensatized by the awful smells he is constantly surrounded by. i just hope he showers before he gets home.

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